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Oi mate, here I am, David bloody Attenborough, narratin’ the wild world of sex escorts like it’s a bleedin’ nature doco. Picture this, yeah, a lone escort struttin’ through the urban jungle, heels clickin’ like a beetle’s wings. Calm now, rhythmic, see – it’s nature, innit? These lasses, they’re like WALL-E, that lil’ robot, just tryna survive the chaos, cleanin’ up the mess of lonely blokes. “Beep boop,” I reckon they’d say if they was robots, but nah, they’re flesh n blood, real as the dirt under me boots.

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Finally, I get to the library, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew so many people wanted to read? I’m like, “Guys, it’s a Wednesday, not a weekend!” But whatever, I love my job. I’m helping this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! Future paleontologist right here!” But then, his mom comes in, and she’s all, “We don’t have time for this!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a book!” But she drags him out. Rude!

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