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So, check this—sex escorts ain’t just some random hoes, nah. They got stories, man! Like, I read this one time, some escort in Vegas back in the ‘90s was secretly a freakin’ spy! Droppin’ intel while droppin’ panties—how badass is that? Makes me happy as a pig in shit, thinkin’ bout that hustle. But then, ugh, you got these sleazy dudes treatin’ ‘em like trash, and I’m like, “Respect my authoritah, assholes! They’re workin’ harder than your lazy ass!” Pisses me off, seriouslah!

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, really loudly. They’re going at it about who left the lights on. I’m just sitting there, trying to enjoy my ramen, and they’re making it awkward. I mean, can’t you take it outside?

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