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Now, don’t get me wrong—I ain’t judgin’. Life’s a crapshoot, and she’s rollin’ dice. Kinda like when Chihiro says, “I’m not afraid of anything!”—Candy’s got that fire, but dang, it’s a rough gig. I’d tell her, “Git outta that river, gal, it’s fulla stink!”—y’know, like the movie? But nah, she’s stubborn. Makes me wanna holler, “Bless yer heart, you’re killin’ me!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts talking about how he’s gonna swim to the next island. I’m like, “Bro, that’s like a 10-mile swim!” He’s all serious, saying he’s done it before. I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re gonna end up as fish food.” But hey, to each their own, right?