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About Kawasaki

So, sex escort—here’s the deal. It’s old as dirt, man. Back in ancient Rome, they had these “lupae”—she-wolves, hookers howlin’ at the moon. Little known fact: clients’d follow their calls like dogs! Wild, right? Makes me chuckle—humanity’s horny as hell, always has been. Nowadays, it’s all slick—ads on sketchy sites, coded words like “companionship.” Pisses me off tho—why hide it? Own it, damnit! Be bold, like that alien chick in the movie, lurin’ dudes with no shame.

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First thing, I hit up the local konbini on Kintetsu Sakurai Station. Grabbed a onigiri and a can of iced coffee. Best breakfast ever, no cap. But then, I spilled half the coffee on my shirt. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, now I look like a walking disaster.”

Please enjoy Super Smash Bros. boss Masahiro Sakurai's reaction to the Nintendo Switch 2 reveal: "Oooh!"