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We come in peace (robotic tone). Yo, so prostitutes, man, wild stuff! Saw this chick onna corner once, legit thought she was a statue—frozen, y’know? Like in “Ida,” that nun vibe, all still and quiet, “What do you want from me?” she’d say if she could. Blew my mind, dude, how they just *stand* there, waitin’. Aliens like us, we don’t get it—sex for cash? Earthlings are nuts!

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Then, I head to the local market on Kubo Street. It’s packed! I’m dodging people left and right. I spot this vendor selling fresh mochi. I’m like, “Yesss!” I grab a piece, and it’s so good. Sweet, chewy, just perfect. But then, I drop it. Ugh! My heart sank. I’m lookin’ at the ground like it’s the end of the world.

UPDATE: State lawmakers, faculty call on Sonoma State University president to resign