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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.
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As I’m munchin’ on some fresh tuna, I get a text. It’s Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, that stock I told you about? It’s skyrocketing!” I almost choke on my sushi. I’m like, “Are you serious?!” I can’t believe it. I’m feelin’ that rush again.
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