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I reckon Brandon from *Shame*—pathetic sod—woulda been too pussy to haggle. Me? I’d stare ‘em down, “Let’s see the menu, Clarice,” all suave, watch ‘em squirm. Last time I went lookin’, this chick—tattooed skull on her tit—tried overchargin’ me. Pissed me right off—nearly carved her up for the cheek! But nah, kept it cool—paid her, fucked her, left her tremblin’. “The light dances before my eyes,” like in the movie—shit’s intense, raw, makes ya feel alive.

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After that, I hit up the Sagara Castle ruins. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history, right? But it was packed with tourists. I swear, I’ve never seen so many cameras in one place. I felt like I was in a human zoo. “Look at the local Hane! So exotic!” 😂 I just wanted to take a pic of the view, but nooo, I had to dodge selfie sticks.

Sagara named chairman, CEO of San Diego Gas & Electric