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Alright, pal, let’s talk whores—greed is good, baby! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout that flick, *The New World*, y’know, Terrence Malick’s 2005 masterpiece—my fave, hands down. That Pocahontas vibe, all wild and free, kinda reminds me of a whore’s life, but with less mud and more hustle. “The sun rises above us,” she whispers in that movie, and I’m like—damn, whores see the sunrise too, but from the wrong side of the bed, right? Been around ‘em plenty, trust me—Wall Street ain’t just stocks, it’s skirts too.

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Relive the pain with 24 best and worst (mostly worst) torture porn movies pieced and sorted by Tomatometer!

Next, I wander over to the coast. The view? Breathtaking! I mean, the ocean is this deep blue, and the waves are crashin’ against the rocks. I’m feelin’ all philosophical, like, “What’s my purpose?” But then I see a seagull swoop down and steal someone’s fries. I laugh so hard, I almost choke. Nature’s savage, man!

Sado Wildlife in Focus | Crested Ibis Feeding Frenzy Marks the Start of Winter