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About Kobe

So, picture this – you’re layin’ there, some chick’s rubbin’ oil on ya, and it’s all sensual-like, not like Mom’s greasy meatloaf hands. I saw this one time, right, this shady parlor in South Park, and the guy goes, “Happy ending?” – I’m like, “Hell yea, make it quick!” Got me all happy, like when Dae-su finds that hammer, “Can I be forgiven?” – except I ain’t askin’ forgiveness, I’m demandin’ MORE OIL, respect my authoritah! Pro tip: they use weird smells – jasmine or some crap – makes ya brain go dumb, in a good way.

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Then, I decide to check out the Sado Gold Mine. It’s this old place, super cool. I’m walkin’ through, and it’s dark and kinda creepy. I’m thinkin’, “What if a ghost pops out?” But nah, just some old tools and stuff. Still, it’s fascinating. I mean, people used to dig for gold here! I can’t even find my keys half the time.

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