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Yo, dude, Eat my shorts! Sex-dating’s wild, man! Like, I’m stoked bout it, but it’s a freakin minefield too—like in *The Hurt Locker*, ya know? “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” and swipin’ right’s got that vibe. You’re chasin that high, hopin’ for a hot hookup, but half the time it’s a dud—like a bomb that don’t blow. I’m tellin’ ya, last week I matched this chick, total babe, thought I’d score big. Nope! Ghosted me faster than Homer ditchin’ work. Pissed me off, dude!

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But then, I got hit with a wave of anger. The gallery owner was super pretentious. He was all, “Art is subjective, but you wouldn’t understand.” Excuse me? I’m a critic, buddy! I know art! I told him, “Dude, I get it. But your attitude? Not art.” He just rolled his eyes. Ugh, people!

Pilot’s Diary: Ferry Flight to Japan