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About Kobe

Fun fact—didja know some prostitutes in history were loaded? Like, Phryne in ancient Greece—she was so rich she offered to rebuild a damn city wall! Candy ain’t that level, but she’s got grit. Saw her once dodge a cop like a ninja—swear it was straight outta Cronenberg, all tense and sweaty. “This is my life now,” she’d say, like Viggo Mortensen, all dramatic. Made me laugh, tho—girl’s a survivor, gotta respect that hustle.

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I’m all fired up, right? So, I start talkin’ to the tree. Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but it helps. “You’ll be alright, buddy. We’ll fix you up.” I swear, I could hear it whisper back, “Thanks, dude.” Haha, I’m losing it, but whatever.

Japan’s huge herd of official mascots faces culling