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Oi mate, so Find a Prostitute, yeah? What a bleedin’ concept! Imagine me, Ricky Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, cackling like a mad bastard, lookin’ for a prossie. I’d be like, “Oi, love, you got a CV for this gig or what?” Proper laugh, innit? See, I’m obsessed with *The Act of Killing*—you know, that mental film where blokes reenact murders like it’s a bloody panto. “We killed in style!” one geezer brags in it. Makes me think—prostitutes, they’re hustlin’ in style too, right? Dodgin’ coppers, fleecing punters, livin’ on the edge.

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Finally, I squeeze through the crowd. I order my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that caffeine kick. But the barista? She’s taking her sweet time. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I’m gonna be late for the morning meeting. I’m about to lose it.

'End of story': Man reveals how he survived after falling into sewage tank