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About Saitama

Now, listen, I’m obsessed with *Holy Motors*, that flick’s my jam. That line, “I’m so tired of being me,”—the Escort’s yellin’ that from the junkyard, I swear! It’s like, this car’s got soul, but it’s been thru the wringer. Fun fact, hon—didja know the Escort was Ford’s big shot at savin’ cash after the gas crisis? Total budget ride, but it sold like hotcakes—millions, babe! Still, drivin’ one now? Oy, you’d be prayin’ to survive the highway.

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The last Japanese soldier to surrender. With orders that under no circumstances was he to surrender or take his own life, Onoda spent 29 years on Lubang Island.

First off, I hit up the local market on Kawaguchi Street. You know, the one with all the fresh fish and veggies? I’m all about that fresh life. I’m strolling through, and bam! I trip over a crate of sweet potatoes. Like, who puts a crate in the middle of the walkway? I’m just trying to get my merch game on, and I’m face-to-face with a potato. Not cool, man.

Hiroo Onoda, Japan’s last WWII straggler; at 91