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About Sapporo

So, erotic-massage—lowkey a freaky art, fam! Not just some backrub, nah, it’s history deep—ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ down athletes, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” ya feel? Then Rome flipped it, made it all sensual—orgy vibes, oil everywhere, chaotic as ME! I’m screamin’, “LET’S GET WEIRD!” while some dude’s tryna pay for gum. Little known fact: Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel slidin’—sounds like a Coen brothers fever dream, I’m shook!

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I confront the guy, and he’s all like, “I found it!” I’m like, “Dude, you can’t just find a bike and claim it!” But he’s got this whole sob story about how he needed it for his job. I’m torn, man. I wanna be mad, but I also feel kinda bad for him.