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So, listen up, friend, here’s the tea. I tried peekin at those apps once—Homer caught me, yelled, “Marge, whatcha doin?!” Made me laugh, but ugh, so embarassing. These folks on there, they’re bold! Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating sites popped off in the 90s? Like, sketchy chatrooms, people typin “ASL” hopin for a hookup. Now it’s all fancy apps, but still the same game—bangin or ghostin. Hmmm… gets me mad tho, all the fakes! Catfishin jerks wastin time. “Who are you?”—like the kid in “The Return” askin his dad. No answers, just lies.

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By the time I wrap up, I’m exhausted. I head back to my car, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, cursing my luck, when this old lady walks by. She just chuckles and says, “You should’ve used a spare.” Thanks, lady. Real helpful.

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