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About Sapporo

Brother, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s wild, man, like steppin’ into the ring with somethin’ sensual, ya know? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “Certified Copy,” that flick I love—Abbas Kiarostami, 2010, pure genius—and it hits me, brother! Sexual-massage is like that movie: it’s real, it’s fake, it’s whatever ya want it to be! “Are we ever ourselves?”—that’s a line from the film, and damn, it fits. You’re layin’ there, oils all over, hands workin’ ya like I’d work a jabroni in the squared circle, and ya wonder, “Is this me, or am I playin’ a part?”

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Suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Like, seriously? In the middle of my spreadsheets? I grab my stuff and head outside. Turns out, it was just a drill. But I’m standing there, surrounded by my coworkers, and we’re all just like, “What the heck?” I mean, who does drills on a Tuesday?

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