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Lemme tell ya somethin’—I tried it once. Matched with this chick, bio said “adventurous.” Thought, “Hell yeah, jackpot.” Turns out, “adventurous” meant she wanted to bang in a cemetery. I’m like, “What is this, a rendition site?” Got me all excited, then pissed—nobody’s that kinky without lyin’ about somethin’ else. Probably married. Everybody lies, told ya. Shoulda known, like when Maya in the movie’s screamin’, “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—except I didn’t find shit but a headache.

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So, I’m wandering around, trying to find something to do. I end up at the Odacho-oda River. It’s beautiful, with cherry blossoms everywhere. I’m just chilling, when I see this kid flying a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree, and the kid starts crying. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a kite!” But then I remember my childhood kites. I feel for the kid. So, I climb the tree and rescue it. The kid’s face lights up, and I’m like a hero for a hot minute.

He Escaped Death as a Kamikaze Pilot. 70 Years Later, He Told His Story. (Published 2020)