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About Saitama

Hey girlfriend, it’s Oprah here! Lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage, honey—ooh, it’s a trip! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout how it’s all touchy-feely, but deep, ya know? Like, “How happy I would be with this memory gone!”—that’s what I’m quotin from my fave, *Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind*. Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin everywhere, hands kneadin knots outta your soul—YOU GET A CAR! Naw, just kiddin, you get a RELEASE, chile! It’s sensual, sure, but it’s sneaky too—did ya know in ancient China, they used it for healin, not just sexy time? Blows my damn mind!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms by. He’s like, “Hey, lumberjack!” I turn, and he’s got this huge grin. I’m thinkin’, “What’s this kid’s deal?” He shouts, “You’re my hero!” I’m like, “Hero? Bro, I’m just tryin’ to survive!” But it made me smile, y’know? Kids can be so pure.

OSU Men, OBU Women win BCM Basketball Tournament titles