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But nah, I’m chill—happy little trees, right? Surprised me once, readin’ up on it—didja know escorts been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves! How badass is that? Makes me happy, thinkin’ ‘bout ‘em howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no crap. Reminds me of Edie Stall in the movie, fierce as hell when it counts. “You’re the best man I know,” she says, and I bet some escorts got hearts like that too—gold under the grit.

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Then, I’m strollin’ down Nishio’s streets, and I hit up the Nishio City Museum. They got this exhibit on matcha. I’m like, “Matcha? Really?” But lemme tell ya, I learned more about tea than I ever thought I would. Who knew it was such a big deal? I mean, I just drink it to wake up, not to become a tea connoisseur.

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