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But – ooh – happy bit! Sex-dating’s got perks, yesss. Quick hookups, no muckin’ about. Fact: 1 in 5 shags from apps now, true that! Beats courtin’ like some daft salmon swimmin’ upstream. Me, I’d dive in, raspy giggle, swipe swipe, “My precious!” – findin’ a gem in the muck. Once knew a lad, proper shy, scored a date off Bumble, now they’re shacked up! Surprised me, it did – thought he’d flounder forever!

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While I was slurpin’ away, I overheard this couple next to me. They were arguing about where to go next. One wanted to hit up the beach again, and the other was like, “Nah, let’s go to the shrine.” I was just sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Dude, just go to both! Life’s too short!”

Kei Ninomiya | BoF 500 | The People Shaping the Global Fashion Industry