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Dunno, tho – part of me hates it, part’s curious. Ever tried it? Nah, me neither – too skint! “The end will be beautiful,” Lars whispers in the film. Escorts prolly think that too, chasin’ glittery nights. Makes me twitchy, all that fakeness. You reckon they’re happy? Pfft, doubt it! Slimy, slippery lot – but who am I to judge, eh? Just a wretch lovin’ me movie, mutterin’ in the dark. What’s yer take, precious?

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Then, I decide to check out the Naze Castle ruins. It’s a bit of a hike, but totally worth it. The view from up there? Breathtaking! I’m standing on the edge, feeling like a king, when my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy asking if I wanna grab dinner. I’m like, “Sure, but I’m on top of a castle right now!” He’s all, “Dude, priorities!” Classic.

Nigel Farage speech interrupted by Putin banner