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What if I found one, tho? I’d be all, “Face your fears, Patrick!”—like Ofelia facin’ that gross toad thing! I’d prolly trip over my flippers, yellin’, “IS THIS THE RIGHT LADY?!” Total chaos, man! Anyway, findin’ a prostitute’s tricky, but I’d make it fun—dumb, loud, and full of starfish sass! Whatcha think, pal?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I hit up this little café on Chuo Street. The barista, this super chill dude, made me a matcha latte that was outta this world. I swear, it was like drinking a hug. I sat there, sipping my latte, and just people-watching. There was this old man feeding the pigeons, and I thought, “Man, I wanna be that chill when I’m old.”

Charging bear attacks karate practitioner in Japan: "I thought I should make my move or else I will be killed"