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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m not a cheapskate, but she’s takin’ the piss with her price. “For you, love, a discount,” she winks, and I’m chuffed again. Ain’t just business, it’s a dance—suave, sharp, a bit dirty. I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, 007, you’re in deep,” but I love it—the thrill, the edge, the “why not?” of it all. “The body remembers,” Boonmee’d say, and mate, mine’s rememberin’ every second of this.

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Then, I decided to stroll down to the Nayoro River. It’s so pretty there, especially in the morning light. I was just vibing, listening to the water flow, when BAM! A giant crow swoops down and snatches my onigiri! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, I know crows are smart, but this was next level. I was mad, but also kinda impressed.

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