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About Kawasaki

Little known shit—whores been around forever, right? Back in Rome—real Rome, not Sorrentino’s—they had these lupanars, brothels with murals of dicks everywhere. Fucked up, but kinda hilarious. Imagine bangin with some painted prick starin at ya. History’s wild, man. I bet Jep’d smirk at that, sippin his fancy-ass wine. “The only truth is the flesh,” he’d say, and whores know it better than anyone.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes again. It’s a text from my sister. She’s in Nara Park, sending me pics of the deer. I’m like, “Really? You’re sending me deer pics while I’m drowning in stocks?” But then I see the little guys, and I can’t help but smile. Those deer are living their best life, munching on snacks. I wish I could be a deer right now. No stress, just chilling under the cherry blossoms.

As American as Nara apple pie? We try the U.S.’s best small town pies without leaving Japan