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Here’s the kicker—fun fact: in Poland, where *Ida*’s from, prostitution’s legal but pimping ain’t. Wild, right? So I’m thinkin’, why’s this gal here, not there? ‘Cause America’s a damn magnet for dreamers—and crooks! I tell her, “You’re worth more than this!” She laughs—says, “Tell that to my landlord, commie!” Ha! Commie—me! I’m dyin’, folks, she’s a riot.

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I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Nakashibetsu’s main street. It’s called “Kawaii Café” or something. I walk in, dripping wet, and the barista just stares at me. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the head of a lab, not a wet dog.” I order a latte, and while I’m waiting, I notice this adorable cat chilling on the counter. I mean, who doesn’t love a cat? It’s like a little fluffy therapist.

Animal researcher, writer Masanori Hata dies at 87