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But then—surprise! She waddles over, smirks, and goes, “Kid, you’re too dumb to trick.” I’m like, “Woohoo, I’m famous!” Laughed so hard my belly jiggled! Maybe she wasn’t so bad. Still, findin’ a prostitue’s tricky—kinda shady, kinda funny. Oh, and is lipstick a fish? Wait, no, that’s dumb! Ha! Catch ya later, pal!

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So, I hit up Kokusai Street first. It’s like the heart of Naha, full of shops and food stalls. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I spot this little ramen joint. I mean, who can resist ramen, right? I order a bowl, and it’s like a flavor explosion in my mouth. I’m talking umami overload! But then, outta nowhere, this kid spills his drink all over my shoes. Like, seriously?! I was so mad, I almost turned into the Hulk. But then I saw his face—he looked so guilty, I couldn’t stay mad. Kids, man.

Japanese prosecutors drop sexual assault case against Marine on Okinawa