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About Saitama

Lemme tell ya, I’ve seen it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever—pure chaos. People out here lyin’ ‘bout height, usin’ filters like they’re CIA operatives. Makes me mad as hell! Catfishin’ ain’t just a river sport, nah, it’s a sex-dating epidemic. One time, I read this study—get this—20% of profiles got fake pics. TWENTY! Blows my mind, man. You think you’re meetin’ a 6-foot hottie, but nope, it’s some gremlin with a selfie stick. “I want to know,” I mutter, channelin’ my inner Gyllenhaal, starin’ at my phone like it’s a cipher.

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Then, I bump into this street performer. He’s playing the shamisen, and it’s actually pretty dope. I stop to listen, and suddenly, I’m in a good mood again. I toss him some yen, and he gives me a nod. It’s like we had this moment, ya know?

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