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We shall fight the loneliness, we shall storm the bedsheets with vigor! Thing is, mate, it’s quick—wham, bam, cheers luv—but I’m thinkin, “Was it worth it?” Bit like the film—bleak, raw, no fairy tales here. Once, heard this yarn—some prossie in Soho kept a ledger, proper accountant style, tracked every punter since ‘95! Mad, innit? Surprised me silly—thought they just smoked an shagged all day.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking monsoon-level rain. I dash for cover under a convenience store awning. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I’m laughing at myself. Like, “Really, universe? You think this is funny?”

Japanese railway sets up literal love seats with special seating for couples