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About Kobe

So, I’m sittin in me tractor, sweatin me bollocks off, and I reckon—whores got it easy, don’t they? No mud, no 5 a.m. starts, just a quick shag and a wad of cash! *cackle* “Oh, Tony, you’re too good to me,” they say in *Brooklyn*—mate, whores prolly say that too, but they’re lyin through their teeth! Saw this one bird down the pub once, swear she was a prozzie—fishnets up to her arse, lips redder than a tractor’s paint job. Asked her, “Oi, love, how’s business?” She goes, “Better than your drivin, ya wanker!” Cheeky cow! Made me laugh tho, fair play.

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After that, I’m feelin’ a bit angry, but I shake it off. I grab my guitar and head to the park near the Naganohara Shrine. It’s a perfect spot to play. I start strummin’ some tunes, and people gather ‘round. I’m feelin’ like a rockstar! But then, this old lady comes up and starts critiquing my playing. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not auditioning for your grandma’s talent show!”

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