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But here’s the kicker, fam—some places, they ban it! Like, what?! Makes me ragin’, innit? ‘Cos it’s “immoral” or summat. Bollocks! It’s just hands, bruv, not a bleedin’ crime scene. Did ya know, in Japan, they got “soaplands”—sexual-massage joints, been round since forever? Geishas was at it, sly-like, back in the day. Proper sneaky! Surprised me nuts off when I heard that—thought them lot was all tea and bows.

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But then, the real drama hit. We were practicing our moves, and I saw this bull in the distance. It was just chillin’, but I swear, it looked at me like it was plotting something. I was like, “Dude, don’t even think about it!” But then, my buddy Hiro got too close, and the bull charged! I freaked out! I mean, I’m a banderillero, but I’m not ready for a bull to come at me like that!

LDP's Moriyama Seeks Concrete Results on Japan-China Issues