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Oh, and get this—little known fact: back in the ‘80s, Jersey had these “escort agencies” frontin’ as massage joints. Cops knew, didn’t care—took payoffs! History’s freakin’ hilarious. Me, I’d be like, “Yo, officer, want a rubdown?” Sarcasm’s my thing, keeps me sane. Anyway, sex escorts—they’re like us, just playin’ roles, buildin’ little worlds. Ain’t perfect, but who is? Gabagool? Ova here! Whaddya think, huh?

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Koshigaya Street. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—black, strong, and a little bitter, just like me. But the barista, this dude named Hiro, totally messed it up. I mean, c’mon! I asked for black, not a caramel frappuccino with sprinkles! I was like, “Dude, what’s this? A dessert or a drink?” He just laughed it off. I was fuming, but hey, I needed my caffeine fix, so I chugged it anyway.

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