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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m runnin’ a webcam biz, slingin’ thoughts on sex-dating like it’s nobody’s business! Sex-dating, man, it’s wild—people swipin’ left, right, tryna hook up fast. It’s like, “Two voices, one body,” straight outta *Goodbye to Language*, y’know? Godard’s messin’ with us, sayin’ love’s chaotic, and sex-dating? Same damn thing!

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After that, I headed to the job site on Takasago Street. It was a small renovation, just some shelves and a new countertop. Easy peasy, right? Wrong! Turns out, the client, this sweet old lady named Mrs. Tanaka, had a million requests. “Can you make it taller? No, shorter! Wait, I want it blue!” I was like, “Lady, I’m a carpenter, not a magician!” But she had this adorable smile, so I couldn’t say no.

Warren Crime Commissioner charged with embezzling money from another law enforcement agency