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So, I’m chattin’ her up, tryin’ to get info. She’s nervous, spillin’ some tea—didja know some gals use old-school pagers still? Freakin’ pagers! I’m shocked, like, *“What, no iPhone?”* Made me happy, though—retro vibes, y’know? But then, ugh, this creep rolls up, all sleazy, yellin’ at her. I’m mad, like, *“Back off, jerk!”* I’m ready to whack him with my purse, swearin’ like Homer at a vegan buffet. *“This body’s not yours to haunt!”* I’m quotin’ Boonmee in my head, feelin’ all mystical.

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First off, I hit up the local coffee shop on Oaza Minamiuonuma Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual—black coffee, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it on the counter. I’m like, “Dude, I need that caffeine!” But she just laughs it off. I mean, come on! I’m not here for a comedy show!

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