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Hiii, oh my Gawd, so listen – nasally whine kickin’ in – I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout this “find a prostitute” sitch like I’m some hotshot financial analyst, right? Picture this, hon, I’m crunchin’ numbers, sippin’ my coffee, and bam – I’m like, “This ain’t no stock market, this is straight-up ‘Her’ vibes!” You know, that movie where Joaquin’s all googly-eyed over his phone babe? Hahaaa, that Nanny laugh’s comin’ out, I can’t help it!

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Yo, lemme tell ya about my day in Minamishibetsucho. Man, it was a wild ride! I woke up, and the sun was blazin’ like it was tryin’ to roast me alive. I mean, c’mon, it’s Japan, not a sauna!