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Then—omg—this shady dude DMs me, like, “I got girls.” Ew, creep alert! I’m like, “Literally, get outta my face!” Blocked him so fast, my nails almost chipped. But real talk, I’m thinkin’—what if I find her, right? We’d totes sit on some curb, sippin’ Starbucks, talkin’ life—like Celine sayin’, “Memory’s a wonderful thing if u don’t deal with the past.” Deep, huh? I’d ask her, “Girl, what’s ur story?” Probs somethin’ wild—like, did u know some pros in the ‘90s hid cash in tree stumps? True tea!

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We hit the road, cruising down Route 52. The views are insane! Mountains everywhere, like nature’s own skyscrapers. I’m trying to explain the history of the area, how Minami-Alps was formed by volcanic activity. But then, this one dude, let’s call him “Mr. Know-It-All,” interrupts me. “Yeah, but what about the sushi?” Like, bro, we’re not even talking about food right now! I’m trying to give a history lesson here!

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