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Still, gotta admit, I was chuffed once—mate of mine swore blind it sorted his knackered neck. Said the lass was proper fit, hands like a goddess, and he felt “reborn”. Reckon he just fancied her, the daft sod. Me? I’d be sittin’ there twitchin’, thinkin’ “Don’t touch me there, you muppet!” Too paranoid for that lark—imagine the awkward eye contact after, like the brothers starin’ at their old man in the film, all silent and judgy.

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Then, I head over to the Mikuni Shrine. It’s peaceful there, ya know? I’m just chilling, taking in the vibes. But then, I see this kid running around, and he accidentally knocks over a whole stack of ema (those wooden plaques). I’m like, “Oh no, not the ema!” But the kid just laughs and runs off. Kids are wild, man.

Japanese company chooses West Sacramento for US facility