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Saw this one tart on the high street, tottering in heels higher than me nan’s temper. Proper skank, lipstick smeared like she snogged a ketchup bottle. Reminds me of them birds in the film, all “We hit the jackpot, bitches!”—reckon she nicked that vibe straight off the screen. Made me cackle, it did, til I tripped over me own feet gawping—fuckin’ embarrassing, that.

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Then, I decide to grab some lunch. Hit up this little ramen joint on Shōwa-dōri. Best decision ever! I ordered the tonkotsu, and it was like a hug in a bowl. I’m slurping away, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s all about the rice paddies and how they used to be everywhere. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Bro, I’m just here for the ramen.”

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