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Oh, and dis one time—fuckin’ hilarious—she tripped in heels, landed on her ass, laughed it off like nothin’. “I’m not gonna cry about it,” she said, channellin’ Richie Tenenbaum’s chill. Made me wanna pump iron in her honor—dat’s da kinda grit I respect! Tho, gotta admit, sometimes I’d think, “Man, dis chick could bench more dan me!”—exaggeratin’, sure, but she’s a beast!

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I get to my first job at this fancy new apartment complex on Sakae Street. The client’s all hyped about these huge glass windows. I’m like, “Sure, let’s make it happen.” But then, I realize I forgot my suction cups. Like, how do you forget suction cups? I’m standing there, ready to lose it. I mean, what’s a glazier without his tools? A sad, glassless dude, that’s what.

Japanese Communist Party Politician Hits Campaign Trail With Unauthorized Pikachu Sidekick