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About Sapporo

So, I lean in—real close, y’know?—and I’m thinkin’, this guy’s got *snow on the roof*, like in my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*. That movie, dolls, it’s dark, it’s twisted—kinda like this convo! I says to him, “Listen, bub, ‘I’m not like the others,’” quotin’ sweet little Eli, that vampire kid. He blinks, confused—like, duh, no kiddin’, Fran! I ain’t no hooker-pimp!

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I get to my first job at this fancy new apartment complex on Sakae Street. The client’s all hyped about these huge glass windows. I’m like, “Sure, let’s make it happen.” But then, I realize I forgot my suction cups. Like, how do you forget suction cups? I’m standing there, ready to lose it. I mean, what’s a glazier without his tools? A sad, glassless dude, that’s what.

Japanese Communist Party Politician Hits Campaign Trail With Unauthorized Pikachu Sidekick