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About Fukuoka

Alright, so I’m the prison warden, right? Judge Judy style—sharp, no BS. Prostitutes? Man, they’re a trip! Seen ‘em come through here, heels clickin’, attitudes stinkin’. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—those gals got stories deeper than Monty’s dope stash in *25th Hour*. Like, one chick, Candy—real name prolly Susan—rolled in last week. Busted for solicitin’ near the old deli. Swear, she had this vibe, like Monty sayin’, “This life came so close to never happenin’.” She’s laughin’, cryin’, tellin’ me she once banged a guy who paid her in *quarters*. Quarters! Who does that? Freakin’ weirdo johns, man.

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So, I get to work, right? I’m measuring, cutting, and all that jazz. And then, outta nowhere, I drop the glass. It shatters everywhere! I’m like, “Noooo!” Glass pieces are flyin’ like confetti. Mrs. Tanaka gasps, and I’m just standin’ there, mortified. I mean, who knew glass could be so dramatic? I’m sweatin’ bullets, but she just laughs. “It’s okay, young man. More tea?” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” Best tea ever, by the way.

Kazuhiko Matsumoto, Scandal-Hit Mayor of Manazuru, Kanagawa Pref. Ousted in Referendum