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But yo, the smell—stale beer, cigs, n somethin’ funky—hits me hard. Aliens don’t got noses like humans, so I’m gaggin’, all “What the hell?!” She laughs, “Welcome to the gutter, babe.” I’m crackin’ up too—shit’s too real. “I’m not a prostitute, I’m a companion,” she says, all fancy. Yeah, right, like I’m Richie Tenenbaum, believin’ every sob story.

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So, I’m sprinting to the station, dodging people like I’m in some crazy video game. Maebaru-chuo Station was packed! I swear, it felt like everyone decided to go shopping today. I squeezed onto the train, and it was like a can of sardines. I was stuck between this dude who smelled like he bathed in soy sauce and a lady with a massive bag of snacks. I mean, I love snacks, but c’mon!