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So I spot her—red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. I’m nervous, sweatin’ like a pig, mutterin’ to myself, “Can you hear me?”—straight outta the movie, ya know? She smirks, “What’s your deal, old man?” I laugh—hoarse, loud—cuz she’s got sass! I like that. “Just lookin’ for company,” I rasp, “not a billionaire, promise!” She rolls her eyes, “Good, they tip like shit.”

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Next up, I get this group of tourists. They’re all excited, takin’ selfies and stuff. One dude’s like, “Is this the elevator to the Kushiro Wetlands?” I’m like, “Nah, buddy, but it’ll take ya to the 3rd floor, which is almost as good.” They laugh, and I’m feelin’ like a comedian.

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