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Little factoid for ya—Victorians, prudish twats, secretly loved “massage parlors.” Hypocrites! Hid it behind “medical treatment”—wink, nudge. Makes me wanna slap a lord. But here’s the kicker: done right, erotic-massage hits nerves you didn’t know existed. Mate o’ mine swore it “unlocked his chi.” Chi my arse—he just liked the view. Still, I get it—tension melts, you’re floatin’, like Alfred patchin’ up Batman after a brawl. “Why do we fall, sir?” To get rubbed up proper, ya git!

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So, I finally make it to the top. The view? Breathtaking. I’m standing there, feeling all zen, when suddenly, it starts to rain. Of course! Just my luck. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m laughing, though. Like, what else can you do?

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