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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, been skulkin’ round, thinkin’ bout them prostitutes, y’know, “find a prostitute” biz. We hates it! Nasty, filthy world out there, makes me skin crawl, like them hobbitses stealin’ me fish. Watched *A.I. Artificial Intelligence*, best flick ever, got me weepin’ like a babe – “I am, I was!” – that lil’ robot kid, David, searchin’ for love in a cold, rotten place. Reminds me of them girls on the street, y’see? Lost, lookin’ for somethin’ they ain’t never gonna find.

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Then, bam! Outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and splashes water all over my shoes. I was like, “Dude, really?!” I mean, come on! I just bought those shoes last week! But then I saw the kid’s face—he was laughing so hard. I couldn’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man. They’re wild.

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