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About Osaka

What gets me mad? The fakers, man—girls pretendin’ they’re into it. Like, be real! Surprised me how chill she was, tho—no drama, just business. I’m thinkin’, shit, this is easier than reelin’ in a marlin. “Punishment follows sin,” I mutter, quotin’ the movie again, ‘cause I’m deep like that. She rolls her eyes—guess she ain’t cultured.

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But then, disaster strikes! I spill some broth on my shirt. I’m like, “Great, now I look like a mess.” I try to clean it up, but it just makes it worse. I’m sittin’ there, lookin’ like a total goofball. The owner sees me and starts laughin’. I laugh too, but inside I’m like, “Why me?”

Penn State basketball forward Yanic Konan Niederhauser in street clothes, walking boot before Minnesota game