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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I was hyped for breakfast. Grabbed my usual—salmon onigiri and a cold matcha. But guess what? They were outta my fave! I was like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, who runs outta onigiri at 8 AM? Rude!