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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all bad. This one gal, she’s all giggles, buyin’ lingerie, says she’s meetin’ her Tinder match. Comes back next week, happy as a pig in mud, sayin’ they hit it off! Made me grin ear to ear—sometimes it works, y’all! Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for this crap—called ‘em “personals.” Ain’t that a hoot? Now it’s all apps and nudes—progress, huh?

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Next, I hit up the famous Kobe beef joint. I mean, c’mon, I had to! I sit down, and the waiter’s all like, “You want the A5?” I’m like, “Heck yeah!” This steak was melt-in-your-mouth good. I’m talkin’ like, “Why can’t all food be this amazing?” I’m practically drooling.

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