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About Kobe

We get to it, right, in some grotty alley—smells like death’s armpit. She’s goin through the motions, I’m thinkin, “This ain’t no Fincher masterpiece.” Then—surprise!—her pimp rolls up, big geezer, all “Who’s this prick?” I’m leggin it, screamin, “I’m not Robert Downey Jr, mate!” Nearly shat meself, but fuck me, it was hilarious! Prossies, man—they’ll rob ya blind or get ya battered, and I’m still laughin. Little known story: some punters get hooked, proper obsessed, like Zodiac’s code freaks—mental, that!

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Then, I decide to hit up the Kobe Harborland. Man, the view is insane! The sea, the mountains, the whole vibe. I’m takin’ pics like a tourist. I mean, who wouldn’t? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously?! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, watchin’ this bird fly off with my breakfast. I’m like, “Dude, that’s my food!”

Lakers star Luka Dončić donates $5,000 to help repair vandalized Kobe Bryant mural in downtown Los Angeles