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Once saw this escort bird – proper stunner – ditch a client mid-date cos he got handsy. Laughed me arse off – respect! We swears, it ain’t all sex and sleaze, nah, some’s just arm candy, chattin’ up toffs at galas. Surprised me, that did – thought it was all bedroom bizz. Nope! Me fave bit? Watchin’ ‘em hustle – pure “Spring Breakers” chaos, precious! “Alien, don’t be a pussy!” – that’s what I’d tell meself if I tried it. Too skittish, me.

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First off, I hit up the local ramen shop on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the neon sign that’s flickering like it’s having a seizure? Yeah, that one. I’m all about that Kitakata ramen life. Slurped down a bowl like it was my last meal. Broth was rich, noodles were chewy—pure heaven. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? Now I’m walking around with a ramen stain like it’s a badge of honor.

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