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Gets me giddy though, the thrill! That “will they, won’t they” buzz. Like in “Blue,” when Adèle’s all, “I’m happy, I’m burning up!” – that’s a good date, mate. Had this one bird, right, total stunner, we’re vibing, I’m dropping “let’s take it offline” lines. Next thing, she’s at mine, it’s all steam and giggles – success! But then there’s the flops – lad I know got catfished by his ex’s mum! Swear down, I nearly pissed meself laughing.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, there’s a gaming tournament at the arcade on Koshin Street!” I’m like, “Shut up, I’m in!” So I rush over, and the place is packed. I’m talking wall-to-wall gamers. The energy is insane! I sign up, and my heart’s racing.

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